Filling the Void


Certain things seem to just resonate with you – movies, books, personalities, people, brands, etc. Your favorite anything is not objectively better than anything else.  They simply speak to a void in your life that you may or may not even know exists.

For me, my favorite book is “Daring Greatly”.  I didn’t know it until much later, but it spoke to the void of connection I felt from a childhood. During which I felt disconnected from my parents. This was mainly due to feeling a lack of affection and playful attention. It’s no coincidence that today connection is one of my core values influencing how I approach life and make decisions.

The negative side of this is that this is how we attract just about anything into our lives.  We’re subconsciously on the lookout for things to fill our voids. Men and women often seek qualities in their mates that they either didn’t have growing up or that they’ve lost since leaving home.

For instance, take the new temp who smiles at all your jokes has similar interests and who seems to smile a little brighter at you (or so your mind would have you believe) is merely speaking to the void in your existing relationship.

The sustainable, but more difficult way is to remedy this situation is to either examine the void so you can shift your perspective or discuss the void with your significant other.  

What’s at its core? Is it legit or just based on ego? What limiting belief is supporting your perception of that void?  Find 3 things that disconfirm that limiting belief. Find 3 things that affirm a new positive belief.

Practice disconfirming the old and affirming the new until the perspective is shifting.  Meaning the void that needs to be filled is no longer an issue.